That was the first quote which came up on my mind when I thought, ok let’s start writing a blog today! I was in my teenage years when I watched the American Beauty movie, and it was probably the first movie which got deep, with it’s meaning and message…
When life gets hectic and you feel like all the changes in the world makes you loose control, how do you take your power back? What do you do to create balance and find peace, love and strength in the moment, even when you are being completely on your own.
I have so much to tell, so will be hard to make this first post here short (apologies), but the life transformations I’ve recently been through might be interesting (or even helpful) for some of you. You are not alone, we are all facing similar challenges, maybe life is trying to teach us something and there might be things we need to change – starting with healing ourselves and finding our inner truth.
I’m living in London UK, probably one of the coolest, most vibrant cities in the world, full of opportunities and a city which never leaves you bored. I can call myself really lucky for the people I met here and for having a decent job in the City. But after living here for almost 10 years, there was something I noticed… I worked so hard on pleasing people that I lost completely who I truly was. I was so focused on doing and saying the right things (as coming from a different cultural background you make more effort to be liked and accepted) and I noticed that it actually was going against me. I was wearing this ‘weird mask’ which I thought is a must to survive and things just become grey… I just felt something is not aligned here, something is missing – even if I had most of the ‘boxes ticked’ on a paper.
I have always been a very sensitive person, feeling other people’s thoughts and emotions – which in certain situations can be overwhelming and more info than you want to face, right? I found it fascinating and weird at the same time. I even went to see a psychologist to find out if there’s anything wrong with me, because I might be paranoid? There’s no chance I could feel things before happening (I thought), because in our 3D world, on a materialistic level, everything is just fine. She had a good laugh after doing all sorts of tests with me and then said, I think you are just completely clear on situations and absolutely nothing is wrong with you. Well I have to be honest, that was a relief, but still I wasn’t sure how to go about this…
I grew up in a quite materialistic family, therefore this world of energy healing seemed a bit ‘too out there’ for me, however I still felt there must be something more on a connection and energetic level which science hasn’t been able to prove yet. There were more and more ‘coincidences’ and ‘little miracles’ happening in my life. I noticed that if I truly focused on something, wanting it so bad that I visualised it every single day like it’s part of my life already, those things actually manifested themselves! I was wondering what our brain is capable of!? It truly got me thinking… Is it possible that all my past failures are simply the sum of my past thoughts and emotions, my self-limiting beliefs? Where do I have this fear coming from and how can I trust myself and my journey more, to go a bit more ‘Fearless’?? I felt something is blocking me and back than it was way too much of a responsibility to stop and say: I am blocking myself! My energy body was completely out of balance, had no idea what to do about it and went for distraction strategies (being the easiest, not facing the source of the problem).
Then an amazing friend came my way, speaking about Reiki and that she is about to do a course to learn to use it… I thought ok, let’s be open about this, maybe she knows something I don’t? Maybe it’s something I had to learn about at this stage of my life?
Yes you guessed it right, after some research on Reiki I signed up for a course, to learn about the ‘Life-force energy’ which flows through everything in this world, that special energy which keeps us alive! That weekend, when I received my attunement from my Reiki Master, I noticed something has changed, something shifted. And this line just popped up in my mind: “Today is the first day of the rest of my life”. I was certain that a new chapter opened, I felt like I received a new sense, I received so much more understanding to the world of energy, and all of a sudden my ‘sensitive self’ and ‘manifestation miracles’ didn’t seem strange at all, they finally made sense! It made sense as everything is energy and through that we are all connected and can feel so much more and then we wish to acknowledge sometimes.
Please allow me to express my personal take on all this here as I know that there are lots of different healing techniques out there and I believe they ALL work, as long as the INTENTION is set right. I don’t believe in ‘Reiki’, I believe in ‘Energy’. I hope I’m not upsetting anyone here with this statement. I believe that our materialistic mind needs a structure, an image, a story that you believe in, to make it work. So I think this could really be called anything, as long as you have your full FAITH in it. So in that sense, I believe God is the same energy source. The key is the faith and the intention. I completely respect if others may disagree to this, this is my own personal take on this, now being a Reiki Master. Reiki gives structure to access this source and makes it super simple to use, that’s why I like it. Its symbols really take the experience to the next level and again I believe they work as long as they have a special meaning for you. Everything you believe in translates into your reality, hence we should really watch our thoughts and emotions, because we do create our reality – we are fully responsible (no blaming on others!).
After my Reiki Course things started to change, a lot faster than I would have hoped for. We were told that first our body will go through a cleansing process and then we will find shifts coming into our life, but those are there to serve our highest and greatest good. What I mean by this ‘highest & greatest good’ is that asking for something particular is coming from a space of short-sighted, selfish ‘ego’. Allowing things to work out for our highest self is when we can truly let go of the picture we drew for ourselves when we were little kids, the perfect life we ought to be living, and just put some trust into our journey and the universe, that’s when things can align and you will attract all the positive life events and relationships into your life. Doors will keep opening, maybe in different directions than you first wanted to go – but it is a good thing. This is how we are all guided. If we are alert enough to notice it and if we can let go of the ‘ego’ and the planned ‘perfect way supposed to happen’ stories, we can actually arrive to a beautiful space where you are FREE of judgement and expectations and can find happiness and completeness in the moment.
The change came too fast and it took me a while to put more trust into this special energy. I did connect to Reiki and did self-healing on a regular basis, I noticed that I have more energy, I was just generally happier although nothing special happened. You know when you are just smiling for no reason and people think something is wrong with you? That kind of happy peaceful space. Then I attracted love into my life, in the most unwanted way with the worst timing you can possibly ask for… How can it be a bad timing? Because I was in a relationship. Yes I was. I have always been a good and loyal girl. First time I didn’t understand what is happening and how can I be true to myself and my feelings. I remembered the words of the Reiki Master at the course saying we can expect changes in our life but they are there to bring a positive shift on all levels. I thought ok, this must be part of the change, but can I just skip this particular change ‘Universe please’? If anyone is listening could they just skip this one as it’s way to much to handle and I have no idea what to do and which path to choose…. The more I didn’t want it the more my heart was out of my existing relationship. There I arrived to the statement: great, now I’m a bad girlfriend who just cannot control her heart! It’s time to settle down, time to prepare for the ‘perfect happily ever after’ wedding as every ‘normal girl’ should in this age. Worlds cannot describe how many sleepless night it caused me and I just healed and meditated and trusted my journey that in the end it will all be fine… It got me to the point of realisation that I have to be true to myself. I could ask for recommendations but the answer has always been there in ME – which I tried to ignore. That voice got louder every day, and during one Reiki meditation I just felt what is the right choice. I had to listen to my body and my heart, what I felt on an energetic level. I had to be true to myself and true to others. I was so scared making this step. I remember it felt like jumping off a cliff where there’s no guarantee of safe landing. Felt crazy but good! Just the fact that I truly listened to my heart and dared to take all the consequences which may come with that.
To jump a little ahead in time, that relationship didn’t work out for all sorts of reasons… but you know what? It made me go FEARLESS. Stepping into the world of unknown from a wholehearted space, I feel like I have my own protection. I don’t expect anyone’s help and I don’t need a specific relationship to feel loved and to feel accepted by society. This is my journey, which is beautiful and unique in its own way and I never regretted any steps I made. I feel we have to take chances in life, otherwise how would we know?
Every single morning I wake up telling myself ‘this is the first day of the rest of my life’ and it puts a small smile on my face. It makes me appreciate being alive, getting new chances every single day to do things a little bit better. I do my morning ritual including grounding, breathwork, chakra activation movements, meditation and reiki – which is now called ‘ReikiMove’ as a registered brand and I’m being super happy to see that it’s helping others too to find their peace and soul’s purpose and feeling honoured to see so many beautiful positive transformations. I made lots of mistakes, but they made me who I am today and therefore I’m grateful. I would like to help people to step out from their shadows and live a happy and aligned life. Not what the society is expecting them to do, but what is right for their soul and maybe what’s been written in the stars for them. If only one person will make better life choices and will lead them to happiness, I will feel like my mission is accomplished.
Diana